资本论对当代的意义:为啥你人缘不好？——人际交往十忌

　　你是否因不够机智而伤害到别人？你可能是想提供帮助，但是你的打算却可能已经伤害到另一方。所以说话之前，你应先设身处地为别人想一下，如果你自己也不喜欢这样的意见，那么别人可能也无法接受。

 
在别人想倾述时提供解决方法

　　Giving solutions when the person is really looking for a listening ear. Probably an understatement: A lot of times what people want is a listening ear. Deep down, people have solutions to the problems they are facing – they are just looking for someone to share  their frustrations with because they have had a long and hard day. I had a friend who would always butt in with suggestions whenever I shared my frustrations. Our conversations became stifling – in the end I stopped talking about them altogether because I wasn’t getting the refuge I wanted. Be more conscious of what the other party is looking for, and adjust accordingly to fit that.
　　这种说法可能较保守：很多时候人们想找的是倾听者，实际上，他们已经有了解决问题的方法——他们只是想找人分担自己的失意，因为他们度过了漫长而艰难的一天。我有一个这样的朋友，每次我要与他聊聊自己的挫折，他总是要打岔，给出意见。我们的对话变得很沉闷，最后我干脆不再说下去，因为我得不到想要的慰籍。因此要更清楚地意识到对方想要什么，做出相应的调整，以适应其需要。

 
爱批评人；自认高人一等

　　Being judgmental; Thinking you are above others. No one likes to be judged or labeled. If you are constantly judging others for what they do/say, it might be good to reflect that upon yourself.  Putting someone off doesn’t make someone a better person; it just makes him/her appear insecure. Humility is a timeless virtue that’s appreciated by everyone.
　　没人喜欢被批评或贴上标签。如果你常常对别人品头论足，那可能刚好可以反映你自己的问题。令别人不快并不能让他/她变得更好，只会使他/她失去信心。谦虚是大家永远都欣赏的美德。

 
不接受他人批评

　　Being defensive to criticism. How well do you respond to criticism? Do you become defensive and wall yourself up? Or do you graciously take it into stride and use the criticism constructively for growth? Learn to deal with critical people – it might be the most important skill you can ever acquire.
　　你是如何回应别人的批评？ 你是不是变得有所防备并把自己封闭起来？还是泰然处之， 有建设性地接受这些意见，帮助自己成长呢？学会与那些爱挑剔的人相处——这可能是你所学的最重要的本领。

 
发号施令

　　Telling people what to do. Most of us don’t like it when people try to boss us around. Learning to energize people and get them on board a common vision is more empowering than trying to order people around.
　　大多数人不喜欢想要发号施令的人。学会激励他人并达成共识比下达命令来得有效。                        

 
漠不关心，反应冷淡

　　Being aloof; Not being responsive. I have experienced situations where acquaintances do not respond to correspondences, possibly because they do not see them as important. Subsequently I form a very bad impression of them, and deprioritize their requests when they seek my help later on.
　　我遇见过熟人不回信的情形，可能是因为他们觉得不重要吧。这使我对他们印象不佳，后来他们请我帮忙时，他们的要求会不自觉被排到后边。

 
自认为“百事通”

　　Thinking you know it all. The more I learn, the more I realize what I don’t know. There is a wealth of knowledge out there for us to learn. Thinking you know everything, rejecting new methods and vehemently insisting on your ways prevents you from connecting with others. Be open to trying new things.
　　学得越多，我越了解自己的无知，我们要学的东西太多了。自认无事不知，拒绝新方法，坚持自己的方式，会妨碍你与他人的联系。要以一种开放的姿态去学习新的东西。

 
抱怨连连

　　Being a complainer. It’s okay to complain every once in a while, but doing it all too often puts off people. Complaining too much makes you an energy vortex – it becomes draining to be around you. People like to be around positive people, not energy vampires. If you are one, it’s not too late to change – start by focusing on positive things around you and work from there.
　　偶尔抱怨一下是可以的，但是太经常了会使人反感。常常抱怨会使你成为一个能量漩涡——身边的人会觉得很无力。人们都想跟积极乐观的人在一起，而不是消极悲观的“能量吸血鬼”。如果你是这样的人，现在改还为时不晚——从关注身边的积极事物开始努力吧。

 
无法坚持自己的决定

　　Not following up on things you agreed on. One of my pet peeves is when people don’t follow up on things they agree on (be it appointments, favors, etc). I think it makes them unreliable and leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. These are the same people that I make a note not to work with in the future.
　　无法坚持已决定的事情（无论是约定或是喜好等）是我不能忍受的事情。那样让我觉得他们不可靠，给我留下很糟的印象。这也是我记下的将来不想打交道的人。

 
不擅倾听

　　Not listening. Are you present in your conversations with others? Or is your mind on something else? When conversing with someone, learn to not only listen, but listen actively. Seek out the underlying message behind what someone is saying.
　　你是否认真与别人交谈？还是你早已跑神了？与他人交谈时，你不仅要学会听，还要学会积极主动地听。找出对方的所表达的主要信息。