如何telnet端口号:知根知底、语出惊人的老太太!

来源:百度文库 编辑:中财网 时间:2024/04/26 10:35:41

琼斯太太语出惊人


美国的律师们,如果没有做好心理准备,千万不要随便向密西西比的老祖母发问!

在美国密西西比一个小镇,一位年老的祖母琼斯太太上法庭做证人。

控方律师问:「琼斯太太,你认识我吗?」

老太太回答:「为甚麽会这样问?我当然认识你,威廉士先生。你从小就让人失望,你经常说谎,喜欢操控他人,又爱在人家背後说坏话。你自以为了不起,实则一无是处。」

控方律师差点要晕过去了,不知还可以说甚麽,唯有指辩方律师问老太太:「那麽你认识他吗?」

老太太又回答:「当然认识,他很年轻的时候我就认识他。他又固执又懒惰,还有酗酒问题。他一直都不能够和任何人建立良好关系,是整个州最糟的律师。他曾跟三个女人乱搞关系,其中一个是你的太太。」

辩方律师听了,几乎暴毙。

这时,法官忍不住把两个律师叫到桌前,轻声道:「你们两个笨蛋留心听,如果你们问她认不认识我,我就立刻送你们上电椅。」

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Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'