中财网过去完成被动式:【原文翻译】“关键时刻”及“桥梁”（Critical Moments And Bridges） by David DeAngelo
来源：百度文库 编辑：中财网 时间：2024/05/06 06:17:38
“关键时刻”及“桥梁”
（如何与美眉逐步发展——从搭讪到上床）
Critical Moments And Bridges
（How To Go From One Step To The Next With Women - The First Meeting To The Bedroom）
作者：David DeAngelo
翻译：kdevil
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译者注：
本文是《约会倍增术》（Double Your Dating）的作者David DeAngelo所写的一本小册子，归纳了把妹的整个流程及一些重点技巧，是一篇提纲挈领的好文。
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当我刚开始学习把妹时，我觉得自己似乎需要面对一些关键的“问题领域”。
在我掌控这些领域之后，我意识到，几乎所有男性都有着相同的障碍。因此，我希望本文能够帮助你看清这些障碍，并提供你所需要的帮助。
首先，我会讲解什么是“关键时刻”。
有时，你会碰到一些关键点，这时你必须采取一些行动，才能使关系提升到新的层次。
例如，你和美眉两人正在愉快的聊天，这时也许你会希望有些身体接触。但我所认识的大多数人并不懂得如何“跃迁”到这一新的层次。
又例如，你偶遇一个心仪的美眉，这时你必须决定是否上前搭讪。这是一个关键时刻。如果你不搭讪，可能就失去了一次机会。
我认识一个人，他搭讪过许多美眉。美眉们也似乎都对他有好感。因此，他可以与美眉们约会、带她们回家。但每次他想跟美眉有身体接触时，她们都会选择离开。
我认识另一个人，他到哪里都会搭讪美眉。美眉们也不抗拒，跟他愉快地谈笑。但他从未向美眉们要过电话好嘛，因此无法跟她们约会。
关键时刻的要点在于，所有这些时刻都需要男人主动采取行动做一些可能被女性拒绝的事。例如，靠近并搭讪、邀约、亲吻等。
在这些情形里，男性都必须经受可能被拒绝的考验，这使得多数男性不愿尝试。而大多数人都在至少一到两个领域显得缺乏自信。
如果你不够自信，或者对于自己的目的和做法还不够清楚，那你可能会做错事，说错话，并导致美眉在某个关键点上拒绝你。
这种拒绝的危险是显而易见的：只要男人在关键时刻犯了错，冒犯了美眉，那么她很可能就此离开。
每段新的关系都像一个复杂的迷题，你可以通过多个步骤逐步解答它，但只要其中一步出错，你就会彻底失败。这样，你还想跟我一起解答这些迷题吗？
这是我提供的关键时刻列表：
1.搭讪（走近并打招呼）
2.联系方式（索取电话号码、电邮地址等）
3.邀约（可以在初次见面时一并完成）
4.约会（与美眉的实际接触）
5.牵手（首个持续身体接触行为）
6.接吻（首个“亲密”行为）
7.私下独处（信任）
8.调情（性接触）
9.脱衣服（深度性接触）
10.做爱（非常非常深度性接触）
我觉得，如果一个人想在生活中的某方面提升自我，那么他常常会学习一种新的技巧。但是，很多人面对失败时，总是错误地觉得自己有所缺陷，这种思维方式导致他们
无法跨越自己的障碍。记住，只要学习新的技巧，就可以克服自身障碍。
为此，我研究了这些不同的关键时刻，并为每个关键时刻创造出一个新概念，我称它为“桥梁”。
接下来我将解释什么是桥梁。
在每个关键时刻之前，都有一些特定的事件会发生。这些事件决定了你是否成功到达下一关键时刻。
例如，你与美眉通电话，并准备约她到咖啡厅，这时，电话里发生的事情将最大程度地决定她是否接受邀请。
又例如，你跟美眉约会，并准备亲吻她，这时，她的心情和快乐程度将决定她是否愿意接受你的吻。
两个关键时刻中间的时间，就称为桥梁。如果你用恰当的方式迈向关键时刻，那么你取得成功的概率将大大增加。如果你完全学会了我的“桥梁策略”，那它将帮助你顺利地跨越每个关键时刻。
在我的桥梁战术中，最重要的部分，莫过于激发对方的主动性，从而进入下一层次。例如，如果你和已接吻过的美眉独处，并准备跟她调情，你可以采用我的“闻香”战术。
花一点时间，闻她的脖子和肩膀，她会变得兴奋起来，主动跟你调情。当然，你也可以推开她、揶揄她，这可以进一步激发她的欲望，让你们玩得更痛快
也许，从谈话到肢体接触是最重要的桥梁。大多数人不知道如何进入肢体接触的层次。我会在后文中详细叙述。
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David DeAngelo约会倍增术的作者，这篇文章的题目叫《关键时刻及衔接桥梁》
一共9页，我随着看随着翻译，现在刚刚完成第1页，等全部看完也翻译完了，肯定会根据整体内容对各个局部在译意上做些调整。
本人英语水平其实很低，这仅仅是一次尝试，翻得不好的地方还请朋友们见谅
Critical Moments And Bridges
关键时刻及衔接桥梁
How To Go From One Step To The Next With Women -
The First Meeting To The Bedroom
怎样和女人从某一阶段进行到下一阶段 -
第一次见面到卧室
When I first started learning about how to meet women, I realized that
there were some major 'problem areas' that I had to deal with.
当我开始学习如何约会女人，我意识到有一些重要的方面是我必须要解决的
After learning how to handle them myself, I realized that almost ALL
men have these same stumbling blocks. Here I hope to help you see these
areas and improve the ones that you need help with.
在我学习怎样自行处理这些问题后，我意识到很多人都有这些同样的绊脚石。
所以我希望帮助你看到这些方面并且改进你需要帮助的缺点
To begin with, let me explain what I mean by a 'Critical Moment.'
首先，让我解释一下我所谓的“关键时刻”
These are the moments in time where you have to do something to
advance to the next level.
它们都是一些让你进阶到下一阶段的时间点。
For instance: If you're with a woman and you're having a great
conversation, you might want to take the relationship to a physical level.
Most men I know are not sure how to 'transition' into this next phase.
例如：如果你正和一个女孩进行一场非常棒的对话，你可能想要把关系进升级到身体接触的水平。
据我所知多数人是不知道该如何“过渡”到下一阶段的。
Or let's say you see a woman that you'd like to meet, and you have to
decided whether or not you're going to walk over and say hello. This is a
critical moment. If you don't do it, you probably won't get another chance.
或者说你看到一个你喜欢的女人，你必须做一个决定是否走过去和她打招呼。
这是一个关键时刻。如果你不这样做，你可能就得不到更多与她相处的机会了。
I know one guy who meets a lot of women. Women really seem to like
him when they first meet him. He can get dates, and get them to come
home with him. But every time he tries to get physical with a woman, she
decides that it's time to leave.
我认识一个约会过许多女人的家伙。女人似乎真的在他与她们第一次见面的时候就会喜欢上他。
他能得到许多约会，并把女人带回他家。但是，每次当他想得到女人的身体，她们都会离开他。
I know another guy who meets women everywhere we go. Women just
love him. They laugh and joke with him. But he never asks any of them for
their phone number, so he doesn't date any of them.
我认识另外一个家伙，我们所到之处他都泡女人。女人仅仅是喜欢他。她们跟她调侃欢笑。
但他从不问她们中任何人的电话，所以他也就没能约到她们中的任何一个。
The problem with Critical Moments is that they almost ALWAYS require
the man to take initiative and do something that can be REJECTED by the
woman. For instance, walking up and saying hello, asking for a date, kissing
her, etc.
关键时刻的问题就是女人总是需要男人采取主动，并做一些可以让她们拥有拒绝权利的事情。
比如，走过去打招呼，要求一个约会，吻她，等等。
In all of these situations, a man has to go through the possibility of
rejection. This keeps most men from even trying. And most guys have at
least one or two areas that they're not confident about.
在所有这些情况下，一个人不得不面对被拒绝的可能。这阻碍了多数人去尝试。
多数人有至少一到两个没有信心的方面。
If you're not confident and know exactly where you're going and what
you're doing, you're going to be likely to make a mistake, say something
wrong, and cause the woman to reject you at one of these important turning
points.
如果你不自信并精确知道你将怎样做、做什么，你很有可能会去犯错，说一些错话并导致女人在这些重要的转折点拒绝你
Kvo在http://paoxue.com/viewthread.php?tid=5710&fromuid=2381 中己译了David DeAngelo - Critical Moments and Bridges的第一页，本人觉得这本小册子写得真是不错，看完了，先译一部分出来给大家体验一下, Kvo译过的那部分,大家自己去看就可以了,我不译了.我接着译第一大段的后面部分:
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当然，如果一个男的在这些关键环节中的某一个方面犯了错误，冒犯了女人，她就可能要离开，很危险。每一段新的关系就像一个复杂迷题。你可能能通过前面的很多关口，然后犯了个错，就全盘皆输。懂了吧？
这里是这些关键时刻的列表：
1. 接近（走过去打招呼）
2. 要联系方式（拿到电话，E-mail地址，等等）
3. 提出约会（这实际上可以在你们初次相遇时就完成的）
4. 约会（真正跟她在一起的时间）
5. 牵手（第一次持续的肢体接触）
6. 接吻（第一次“亲密”接触）
7. 私人场所单独相处（信任感）
8. 挑逗（性唤起）
9. 脱衣（进一步的性唤起！）
10. sex（更进一步的性唤起！）
就我所知，如果一个人想要在某方面有进步，他就要学习一个新的技巧。却有太多的人错误地认为，是自身固有的问题，他从来没有努力去克服障碍。千万记住，每一个障碍只要学一个新的技巧就能克服。
所以我研究了这些关节点，并且发明了我称作“桥接”的东西来应对每一个关节点。
我解释一下什么是桥接。在每一个关节点之前总有一些事发生。通常就是这些事使得接下来的关节点跟随而至。
举个例子，如果你给一个女人电话，想约她喝咖啡，那么，电话里发生的事很大程度上决定了她会不会见你。
或者，你正在和她约会，你想吻她，她的心情和愉悦程度就将决定她会不会接受你的吻。
桥接，就是相阾关节点之间的发生的事。正确地设立关节点，比起错误的设立而言，你会更有可能成功。如果你学习了所有我的桥接策略，它就能帮你平稳地从一个关节点过渡到另一个。
而在我的桥接技巧中，最棒的部分就是，能让她主动地向下一个关节点过渡。举个例子，你们单独在一起，且你们己过了吻这个关节点，你想跟她缠绵一下，你可能用我的“嗅她”的技巧。
通过嗅她的颈和肩几分钟，使她兴奋起来，她会抓你，并立即和你缠绵起来。（当然，你得推开她，逗弄她一会，因为这会更加增强她的欲望——并且这对你们两人来说都将是有意思的事！）
可能最重要的桥接在于从语言沟通到肢体接触的过渡。许我男同胞就是有知道怎么步入肢体接触阶段。我会在这方面继续我前面所讲的。稍后继续。
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以上的我译的部分，后面的就开始讲怎么进入到每一个关节点的具体做法了，很有意思的，如果大家支持的话，我有时间再译。
附上原文：
The danger, of course, is that if a man makes a mistake at one of these
key times that offends the woman, she may decide to leave.
Every new relationship is like a complex puzzle. You can make it
through many steps, then make a mistake and have it all fall apart. Are you
with me?
Here's my list of the Critical Moments:
1. Approach (Walking over and saying hello)
2. Digits (Getting a phone number, email address, etc.)
3. Date request (This can actually be done when you first meet)
4. Date (The actual time with her)
5. Hold hands (The first sustained physical contact)
6. Kiss (The first 'intimate' contact)
7. Alone in private (Trust)
8. Make out (Sexually aroused)
9. Clothes off (Very sexually aroused)
10. Sex (Very very very sexually aroused!)
As far as I'm concerned, if a person needs improvement in an area of
life, they usually need to learn a new SKILL. Too many people make the
mistake of thinking that something's wrong with them, and that they'll never
be able to overcome their obstacle. Just remember, it's all about learning a
new skill to overcome each obstacle.
So I've taken each of these different Critical Moments and created what
I call a 'Bridge' for each.
Let me explain what a Bridge is.
Before each Critical moment, there are certain things that happen.
These often set up the Critical Moment that is about to follow.
For instance, if you're talking to a woman on the telephone, and you
want to ask her for a coffee date, what happens on that phone call will
largely determine whether or not she meets you.
Or if you are on a date, and you'd like to kiss her, her mood and level of
enjoyment is going to determine whether or not she's going to be receptive
to a kiss.
The times 'between' Critical Moments are Bridges. If you set up the
critical moment correctly, you will be much more likely to be successful than
if you don't. If you learn all of my 'Bridge Strategies' this will help you move
smoothly from one Critical Moment to the next.
And the best part about some of my Bridge techniques is that they
CAUSE HER to take the initiative and go to the next level. For instance, if
you're alone with a woman who you've already kissed, and you'd like to
make out with her, you can use my 'smelling her' technique.
By taking a few minutes and smelling her neck and shoulders, she'll
usually get so turned on that she grabs you and makes out with you right
there! (Of course, you'll want to push her away and tease her a bit, because
this will amplify her desire even more - and it will be fun for both of you!)
Probably the most important Bridge is between talking and getting
physical. Most men just don't know how to advance to a physical level. But
I'm getting ahead of myself here. More later.
Bridge To #1, The Approach
桥接一，接近
Probably the most important concept that I talk about when
approaching women is how you feel inside.
也许，我所说的，当你接近女人时最重要的概念，就是你内在的感觉
The fact is that nowadays women are very sensitive to any 'lines' that
sound canned or corny. The way to meet women is to walk over and start a
normal conversation. If you've read my book, you know that I don't think it's
a good idea to give too many compliments early on. But it's fine to say "Hi, I
just wanted to tell you... you have great shoes" etc. and then start talking.
事实上最近女人们对任何听起来很平淡或很灌装的'lines'都很敏感的。泡她们的方式就是走过去并开始
一段普通的交谈。如果你读过我的书，你就会知道我并不认为在一开始就说很多恭维的话是个好主意。说
：“你好，我只想告诉你。。。。你的鞋子很棒”等等就是很好的方式，然后你们就可以开始一段交谈了
。
The key is, do something NORMAL. This reminds me of the movie
"Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid" with Paul Newman. At one point in
the movie they said "OK, so the con is that we're going straight?" Most
women have secret fantasies about running into Prince Charming at the
grocery store or Blockbuster. Women have an instant resistance to men who
try to be 'slick.' So don't do it.
关键是去做一些平常的事情。这让我想起了电影“Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid”中的Paul
Newman。电影中有一处，他们说：“ok，错就错在我们正在改过自新吗？”。多数女人都偷偷幻想过在杂
货店或Blockbuster跑向白马王子的场景。女人会对一个油腔滑调的男人有拒绝感。所以千万别那样做。
（这段我翻译得好别扭啊，但好在不太影响阅读，记住男人别在女人面前太油腔滑调就ok了）
Now, what's the key to being calm and normal?
现在，看起来平静普通的关键是什么？
The key is confidence and poise. You have to learn how to be confident
in these situations.
关键是自信和冷静。你必须学会在这些情况下如何变得自信。
I was surprised to find out that most women are actually pretty nice
when you approach them. Especially if you're not acting like a stalker or a
guy who hasn't been with a woman in 10 years.
我惊奇地发现多数女人在你接近她们的时候相当可爱。特别是如果你不表现得好像一个纠缠着或者10年没
见过女人一样。
In Double Your Dating I explain how to get this confidence and what to
say when you first meet a woman. But for now, just realize that this is a
Critical Moment, and you need to learn how to handle it. If you don't get this
one handled, all the rest are irrelevant.
在《约会倍增术》中，我解释了怎样拥有这种自信以及当你第一次约见女人时候该说些什么。但现在，只
需要认识到这是一个关键时刻，而且你需要学会如何处理它。如果你不把这个问题处理好，那么其余的一
切都是没有意义的。
桥接之#2 获取联系方式 这一个桥接的关键在于学习怎么样做到有吸引力和有趣。在《约会倍增术》你会学到那个我从我的一个好友那里学来的“幽默自大”理论。 这个能使你与女人的交流变得有趣。 接下来就是要知道你到底要说什么和怎么说。我一般说：“你有E-mail吗？”如果她们回答“有”，那么我就当作是她们要把E-mail给我，就给她们一支笔。然后呢，当她们正写到一半时，我说“干脆，你直接把你的电话号码也写上得了”。这样给人以自然而流畅的感觉。但是你必须学习那些措辞，并在心里预演熟练。行动起来。 桥接之#3，提出约会 这里的意思就是，继续保持你在《约会倍增术》里学过的“幽默自大”的个性，并且还要用上另一个神奇魔法工具：好朋友框架。 当你跟一个女人谈到约会一起喝咖啡或者吃饭之类的，很重要的一点就是要说：“好吧，我们一起聚聚，交个朋友嘛。看来，不出意外的话，你能成为一个很好的朋友哦。”这里的心理学背景我在书中有详细的解释，而且这确实有奇效。 大多数女人不相信一个男人会真的只想跟她们做朋友。而且这会使她们心里想：“咦……我倒想知道他是不是能吸引到我？”这正合你意。你必须学会这些措辞并练习它，这对你有好处。 学好那个“好朋友框架”。 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 附原文： Bridge To #2, Getting Digits Bridge To #4, The Date 桥接#6：接吻 我己经在这方面写了很多了，但我还要在这里把我在我的网页上写的重复一下： 如果我正和一个女孩交谈，我想知道她是否准备好了接吻，我会在我们说话时伸出手去触碰她的头发，并对她的头发作一个评论。我会说：“你的头发摸起来很软。”而我只是接触到她的发梢。 如果她笑，并表现出喜欢听到这个赞美，那我就伸到后面，并边说话边抚摸她。如果她喜欢，我就知道了，她可以接受接吻。 这看起来很简单，但从女人的观点来看我做得很老练。经过几年的研究和体验，我发现女人喜欢这样的感觉——她们处在掌控之中。 通过运用这个接吻测试，我已表现出亲切和善于恭维，但却是极微妙的，我没有给她任何拒绝我的机会。你可以想象如果你刚刚和她拉了一会儿手，那这个过程就非常自然。 我想私人汽车是第一次接吻的一个很好的场所…… 桥接#7 独处 这个桥接的全部要义就是信任。 如果她信任你，感到安全，那么跟你单独在一起，她会感觉很惬意。 你有没有看到每一个环节怎样结合起来的？每一步都进行得那么顺畅。 我是这么做的： 就如我在《约会倍增术》里提到的，不能表现得太心急，这很重要。我喜欢约女人在我的住处碰面，然后我们出去喝咖啡，接着，我们回来。我看看表，说：“那么……好吧，你可以进来呆几分钟。” 这样非常棒，因为这样看起来就像是她想让我带她进来。因我看起来并不很急，她一般会答应。 另一种方法就是，你可以告诉她你想让她看一下你的狗（不，不是那个——注：“狗”在美国口语里有“家伙”“小红肠”等多种意义）或都告诉她一些你想展示给她看的东西（同样，这次也不是那东西——只是晚点儿）。如果你在喝咖啡时谈到你的艺术收藏品，那么让她来看一下就显得很自然。 记住，这里的关键就是信任。所以，要表现得值得信任。 原文： Bridge To #6: Kissing say on my web page: Remember, the key here is TRUST. So be trustworthy. Bridge To #8: Making Out 桥接#9 脱衣 我发现许多女人对于脱她们衣服这事感到害羞、忸怩和紧张。如果你知道怎样克服这个困难，那会帮你得到更多的性体验。 我提到过几个通过刺激让女人逐渐麻痹的技巧。这里正是需要你慢慢地去扭开女人的“旋钮”。是时候一个接一个的用这些技巧了。 这里赞美同样有效。如果女人对自己的身体感到忸怩，一句简单的“我觉得的你的身体好性感”效果会很好。女人通常需要确切的知道自己吸引到了你。 现在你可以开始脱她衣服了……首先衬衫，然后胸罩，接着裤子……等等。要慢慢来，而且，如果她阻止你，只需要把这个信号当做是，需要你继续用那些“嗅气味”、“吻脖子”、“吹耳朵”等技巧。 绝不能在女人说“停”的时候还一直继续。但要你停不是要你停下来走人，女人的意思通常是说：“停一下，我需要你再多给我热热身。” （我很烦总是要解释这个，但总有一些男人不能完全理解我的意思，所以……不要强迫女人接受你！如果她实在对你没兴趣，走人。别像个傻逼似的，别弄成了诱奸妇女！） 所以，只要一直跟她说柔情蜜语，吻她等等。然后再试试。她越兴奋，衣服就脱得越多。 桥接#10 性爱 这一步性爱桥接中最重要的部分就是准备充分！ 我问他们：“你把床准备好了吗？”“你在屋子里准备好避孕套了吗？” 通常，我至少会发现一件使他们与成功得到女人无缘的事。 所以，做好准备！买好避孕套，保证房子整洁，保证床己铺好……一些就绪！想清楚，一旦女人来了，而情形又正合适时，为了圆满收场，将会顺次发生哪些事情。 好……下面是细节： 我发现，如果一个女人足够兴奋了，她会主动发出信号表示她己准备好了。 这个信号可以是——从在你身上蹭她的臀部到抓你的胯部——等任何信号。我不喜欢强迫女人……我喜欢让她们兴奋，直到她们求我。我不是在开玩笑！ 你先开始，然后停下来，再开始，再停下来……这是我从一个朋友那儿学的，她会真的兴奋起来。所以就得那么做！女人喜欢挑战，如果你在这方面是一个挑战，那么，你就是她想要的那种男人！ 所以亲吻一会儿她的身体，然后停下来。然后亲她的脖子，然后停，再向她的耳朵里呼气……再停一下。你要明白，如果你有耐心，她甚至会做一些很明显的事，就像是在说“好了，够了，我准备好了！” 那么现在你掌握了“关键时刻与桥接”的理论。 我建议你现在就花几分钟时间，把你需要改进的地方写下来。然后看看你在哪些地方需要做得更好，花时间学习相关的技巧。我知道你会做，你一定得做！我希望你喜欢我写的这个，并从中学到了一些有用的东西。 如果你什么反馈意见，请给我发邮件到：daviddeangelo@doubleyourdating.com 附原文： Bridge To #9: Clothes Off ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 这本小册子到此译完，感谢[Kvo]的密切协作，感谢大家的支持！希望对大家有所帮助！
The key to this Bridge is to learn how to be interesting and funny. In
Double Your Dating you'll read about the 'Cocky and Funny' concept that I
learned from a good friend.
This makes conversations interesting to women.
The next part is to know EXACTLY what you're going to say and
EXACTLY how you're going to say it. I say "Do you have email?" If they say
'Yes' then I treat that like a yes that they'll give it to me, and give them a
pen. Then, WHILE THEY'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING I say "And go
ahead and write down your number there too." It comes across natural and
smooth. But you have to learn the words and mentally rehearse to get it
perfect. So do that.
Bridge To #3, The Date Request
The idea here is to keep up the Cocky and Funny personality that you
learned in Double Your Dating, and add the other magic ingredient: The
Friendship Frame.
When you talk to a woman about meeting for coffee or lunch etc. it's
important to say "Well, let's get together and make FRIENDS. If nothing
else, you sound like you might make a nice FRIEND." The psychology behind
this is explained in detail in my book, but the effect is stunning. Most women
can't believe that a man could actually be interested in getting to know them
as a friend. And it also causes them to say "Hmmm... I wonder if he's
attracted to me?" This works in your favor. You have to learn the words and
practice, but this will really pay off for you. Learn the Friendship Frame.
桥接4， 约会
When you're preparing to meet a woman for the first 'Date' (and this
can be just for coffee, to go for a walk, watch a movie... whatever) you need
to do a few key things. You MUST be as clean as possible.
当你筹备第一次约会（这次约会只是去喝杯咖啡、散散步、看场电影而已），你需要做一些关键的事情。你必须尽可能的干净。
In my book I recommend washing 3 times in the shower, and using a
nice light cologne. Wear clean, comfortable clothes, etc. Brush the teeth, use
floss and mouthwash. You have to make a good impression. Most guys that
have problems at this stage are trying too hard. It's a paradox, but you have
to stay very cool and calm when you first meet a woman - and act almost
indifferent. This quality is attractive to women.
在我的书中，我提到每天清洗三次，用淡香味的科隆香水。穿着干净、舒适等等。刷牙，用压线和漱口水。你必须要给对方留下美好的印象。多数人在这方面的问题是太在意了。这是一个悖论，但当你第一次约会女人，你不得不保持酷和稳重的形象，同时表现得对目标无企图。这对女人是有吸引力的。
Bridge To #5: Holding Hands
桥接5： 牵手
I personally think that it's a good idea to hold a woman's hand for
awhile before kissing, etc. This conveys to the woman that you are a warm,
friendly person, and someone she can trust.
我个人认为在接吻之前牵一会手是个好主意。这传达给了女人你是一个温馨，友好，可信的人的印象。
The interesting thing about hand holding is that men think that hand
holding means "She wants to have sex" and women think that it means "Oh,
he's a nice guy."
有趣的是对于牵手，男人认为这意味着“她想要性”，但女人认为这意味着“噢，他是一个不错的人”
Once you're holding hands, it's very easy to move to kissing, etc.
一旦当你牵了她的手，这将很容易进行到接吻以及后续的等等
Here's how:
In Double Your Dating, I talk about learning a few good 'cold reading'
methods. These can be anything from palmistry to handwriting analysis to
astrology. Women LOVE this stuff.
在《约会倍增术》中，我谈到学习些“冷读”。这可以是手相、笔记分析、占星术等等。女人喜欢这些东西。
An important one to learn is Palmistry, as it leads to you touching her
hands! If you then learn a bit about hand massage and reflexology, you can
naturally lead into a discussion about hands and pressure points, and start
to give her a hand massage right there. When you're finished, you just keep
holding her hand. It works so perfectly.
需要学的一个非常重要的技术就是看手相，因为这可以让你触摸到她的手。如果你再了解一下手部按摩和足底按摩，你将自然而然地引导话题进入到关于手和压迫点的讨论，进而给她做一个手部的按摩。当你结束这些，你正好继续握着她的手。这一切都进行得非常完美。
I've shown this to several of my buddies - and they LOVE IT. It is so
smooth and nice for a woman.
我曾经给我的一些朋友演示过，他们都非常喜欢这个技巧。这对女人来说过渡得太平滑自然了。
I've written a lot about this one, but I'm going to reprint here what I
If I've been talking to a girl, and I want to know if she's ready to be
kissed, I'll reach over and touch her hair while we're talking and make a
comment about it. I'll say "Your hair looks so soft" and just touch the tips of
it.
If she smiles and appears to like what she's hearing, I then reach back
over and start stroking it again while talking to her. If she likes this, I know
that she would be receptive to a kiss.
Now, this may sound simple, but I've done something very
sophisticated from the WOMAN'S perspective. After years of research and
experience, I've learned that women like to have the idea that they are IN
CONTROL of the situation.
By using The Kiss Test I've been kind and complimentary, but by being
very SUBTLE about it, I haven't given her anything she can object to.
You can imagine that if you've just finished holding her hand for awhile,
this is almost natural!
I think that the car is a great place for a first kiss...
Bridge To #7: Being Alone With Her
This Bridge is all about trust.
If she trusts you, and feels safe, she'll be OK with the idea of being
alone with you. Do you see how everything fits together? Each step flows
smoothly into the next.
Here's what I do:
As I mentioned in Double Your Dating, it's important to not seem too
eager for anything. I like to have a woman meet me at my place, then leave
from there to go for coffee. Then, when we come back, I look at my watch
and say "Well... OK, you can come in for a minute."
This is great, because it kind of makes it seem like she was trying to
talk me into it! Because I don't seem too anxious, she'll usually say "OK."
Other ways you can do this are by telling her that you want her to meet
your dog (no not that one) or telling her about something you want to show
her (again, not that - save that for later). If you talked about your art
collection at coffee, then it's natural for her to come see it.
桥接8：挑逗
Once you're inside (your place or hers) you need to Bridge into making
out. Just because a woman kisses you, it doesn't mean that she's hot for
your bod right then and there. You have to help her work up to that.
当你们在室内（你家或她家），你需要桥接到挑逗阶段。如果女人和你仅仅接过吻，这并不代表她对你产生了冲动。你不得不帮助她逐步达到状态。
Men are on/off switches, and women are volume knobs. So work on this
one slowly and with patience.
（对于性）男人是开关型的，而女人却是旋钮型的。所以请耐心地慢慢地进行。
Here's how:
现在教你如何做：
The first thing to do is NOTHING. You need to take 10 or 15 minutes
and sit back and be only interested in talking. As a matter of fact, sit far
away from her, or lean back if you're next to her. This sends the message
that you're not just horning in for the kill. (Hey, you can actually have an
interesting conversation if you want, it's OK).
要做的第一件事情就是“什么都不做”。你需要10-15分钟坐视不理（关于性的话题），并只感兴趣于跟她的交谈。事实上，你要与她（的身体）保持距离，偶尔靠近她后也要尽快把身体倾斜回去。这将传递一条信息，告诉她你并没要侵犯她的意思。（事实上如果你想，完全可以进行一段有趣的谈话，这没问题）
Next, when you've both shared a nice laugh together, and the energy is
good, reach back over and give her another kiss.
下面，当你们共同分享了一段欢乐时光，并且活力激扬，就可以重温一下之前的亲密并给她一个吻。
This time, whisper in her ear that she smells really good. Then start to
smell her neck and shoulders. This one is a time bomb!
这次，在她耳边耳语告诉她，她闻起来好诱人。然后开始闻她的脖子和肩膀。这是一个定时炸弹。
If you can learn to just smell a woman's neck and shoulders for about
10 minutes WITHOUT KISSING HER you will blow her mind. Women LOVE to
be smelled, and it instantly turns them on.
如果你能学会闻她的脖子和肩膀10分钟却不亲她，你将会让她情不自禁。女人喜欢被闻，这将会立刻点燃她们的欲望。
I'm about to teach you a couple of killer moves, so get ready.
我下面将要教你们一些杀手锏，请做好准备。
In the animal kingdom, different animals have different signals that tell
the other that they're interested. When some of these signals are sent by
the male, the females actually BECOME PARALYSED and freeze in a sexually
aroused position.
在动物王国，不同的动物会有不同的向异性表示好感的信号。当这些信号被雄性发出，雌性就会瘫软酥麻并欲火焚身。
Women have this same mechanism... shhhhhhh!
女人拥有同样的机制。。。嘿嘿！
Here are the things that trigger it:
下面是触发该机制的一些方法：
1. Pulling her hair gently (run your hand up the back of her neck into
her hair, then make a fist and pull lightly).
很温柔地拉她头发（把手伸到她脖子后面并插进头发里，攥拳轻轻地拉）
2. Biting her neck gently (no Dracula here, just lightly).
轻咬她的脖子（这时候不需要装绅士，但请务必轻一些）
3. Breathing in her ear and whispering.
对她的耳朵吹气并耳语
4. Kissing her neck.
亲她的脖子
If you take some time smelling her, she will start to get turned on. Then
it's time to try one of the above to take her to the next level! This is when
you can start gently rubbing her breasts, etc. and go with some heavy
petting.
如果你花了一些时间去闻她，她将会开始有感觉。然后，就是尝试上面的方法把她带入更有感觉的阶段！这时候你就可以开始温柔地揉搓她的胸部，等等。然后是一些更重的抚摸。
有时一些人会问我：“一旦我把带回到我的家里，我应该怎么做？”
I have found that many women are shy, self conscious, and nervous
about taking their clothes off. If you know how to overcome this, it will
obviously help you have more sex.
I just mentioned a few techniques for making a woman literally
paralyzed with stimulation. Here's where you want to really turn up the
volume. It's time to use these one after another.
Compliments also work well at this point. Since most women are self
conscious about their bodies, a simple "I think you have such a sexy body"
will work wonders. Women often need to know that you find them attractive.
Now you can start taking off the clothes... first shirt, then bra, then
pants... etc. Go slowly, and if she stops you, just take that as a signal that
you need to keep up the smelling, neck kissing, ear breathing, etc.
NEVER keep going if a woman says "Stop." But stop doesn't usually
mean "Stop and go away," it usually means "Stop, I need you to turn me on
some more."
(I hate to have to do this, but there are some men who don't get it,
so... don't force yourself on women! If she's not into you, leave. Don't be a
dumb-ass, and don't date rape women!)
So just keep talking sexy to her, kissing, etc. Then try again. The more
turned on she gets, the more the clothes come off.
Bridge To #10: Sex
The most important part of the Bridge to sex is being prepared!
Sometimes a guy will ask me "What do I do once I get her back to my
place?"
I ask them "Do you keep your bed made?" and "Do you have condoms
in the house?"
Usually, I can find at least one thing that would make it almost
impossible for them to succeed with a woman!
So be ready! Buy condoms, make sure your house is neat and bed is
made... be prepared! Think through what is going to have to happen in order
for you to follow through once a woman is there and the situation is right.
Ok... on to the specifics:
I've personally found that if you get a woman turned on enough, she'll
take the initiative and signal that she's ready.
This signal can be anything from rubbing her hips against you to
grabbing your crotch, etc. I don't like to push women... I like them to get so
turned on that they say "Please." And I'm not kidding!
I learned from a friend that if you start, then stop, then start, then
stop... she'll get REALLY turned on. So do that! Women love a challenge,
and if you can be a challenge in this area, then you're the man!
So kiss her body for awhile, then stop. Then kiss her neck. Then stop.
Then breathe in her ear... then stop. You get it. If you're patient, she'll
eventually do something blatant that says "OK, enough! I'm ready!"
So now you understand the concept of Critical Moments and Bridges.
I encourage you to take a few minutes right now and write down where
you need improvement. Then take the time to learn the SKILLS you need to
do better in those areas. I know it can be done. You just have to do it!
I hope you've enjoyed this and learned from it.
Please email me at daviddeangelo@doubleyourdating.com if you have
any feedback!