cassandra mac 安装:7种假期里交际的重要方法

Photo credit: confidence, comely. (CC BY-NC 2.0)

The holidays are an excellent opportunity to socialize, make friends, have fun with others and be grateful for the people in your life.

假期对进行社交活动，认识朋友，与他人一起找乐子并且感恩你生命中的每个人来说，是个非常不错的机会。

But if you’re somewhat on the shy side and you have trouble opening up during social interactions, holidays can be a pain in the neck, because you know others socialize and enjoy themselves while you’re missing out on all the fun.

但如果你稍微有些害羞且在社交互动中难以放开手脚，那么假期对你将是一件苦恼的事情。因为你知道大伙都在社交活动并且享受乐趣，而你自己却与这些乐趣沾不上边。

Well, this year is going to be different.

那么好吧，今年将与往年大不相同。

As a social confidence coach, helping others overcome their shyness and be more outgoing is the core of my job description. I want to share with you 7 great ways to be more social during the upcoming holiday season.

作为一个培养社交自信的教练，帮助他人克服害羞并变得更加开朗是我工作的核心内容。在即将到来的假日季节，我将同你分享7种相当不错的方法，令你更加社交化。

1. Fill up Your Social Agenda

1.安排好你的社交日程

Forget about spending Christmas Eve watching a movie alone or the holiday vacation reading a 1200-page book. The first key step to enjoying meaningful interactions during the holidays is to get involved in social activities instead of avoiding them. Any social activity you can find, try to attend. Family dinner, corporate party, friends gathering, drinking night, holiday trip — anything goes.

不要老想着平安夜独自看电影或假日读一本1200页厚的书。在假期里你要享受有意义的互动，第一个关键步骤是要融入到社交活动中去而不是拒绝。要尝试加入任何你能发现的社交活动。例如家庭聚餐，公司派对，朋友聚会，狂欢酒会夜，假日旅游等等。

Even if it may not sound appealing at first — or just the thought of attending it makes you feel nervous — you will typically discover it’s a lot more fun once you actually go to it.

即使一开始听起来没有那么吸引人——又或仅仅是参加的想法就令你紧张——没关系，一旦你真的做下去，你就会特别发现原来这是非常有趣的事情。

2. Organize Social Events

2.组织社交活动

There is no need to wait for others to organize some social activity and invite you, too. Take the initiative, arrange your own social events, and invite others to attend.

没必要等待别人组织社交活动来邀请你。要主动安排自己的社交活动，然后邀请他人来参加。

Throw a pre-Christmas party or a post-New Year’s Eve party to finish all the leftovers. Organize a poker night or a simple get together with old friends. There are plenty of things you can do. And when you’re the host or the initiator of a certain social activity, since you’re on your ‘turf’, it’s easier to feel confident and be more social.

办一个圣诞节前或新年前夕过后的派对来消磨剩余的时间。组织一次扑克牌之夜或简单的老朋友聚会。你有大把事情可以做，而且当你成为某些社交活动的主办者或发起者，因为这是在你自己的“地盘”上，你会很容易感到自信并更加交际化。

3. Bare Gifts

3.恰到好处的礼物

All people love to receive gifts; it’s not just children that do at this time of year. Getting gifts makes them feel appreciated. This is why gifts are a good way to elicit people’s goodwill, and the holidays are the perfect occasion to bear gifts.

每年这个时候，人人都喜欢收到礼物，不仅只是小孩子。收到礼物令人们感到被重视。这就是礼物是一个不错的方法来引起人们友好的原因，也是假期为什么是能够把礼品销售一空的最佳时机的原因。

So when you visit or meet someone, take a little time to buy them a nice little holiday present. It doesn’t have to be something expensive — just something interesting. Remember: it’s the gesture that matters the most.

因此当你拜访某人或与某人见面的时候，花少许时间买份精致的假日小礼物送给他们。不用买贵的东西，只要有趣的就行了。记住，礼轻情义重。

4. Take More Risks

4.多冒险

People who are shy or reserved are archetypal “risk avoiders” in social settings. They don’t want to say anything improper, be rude or embarrass themselves. Consequently, they avoid speaking their mind and being authentic in social interactions.

害羞或矜持的人在社交事务中是典型的“冒险回避者”。他们不敢说不恰当的话，不礼貌或令自己尴尬。相反地，他们在社交互动中拒绝说出他们的想法和表露真情。

If this is your case, this is a terrific moment to start taking more risks when interacting with others. Speak your mind, open up and be as spontaneous as you can. If others like you, fine. If they don’t, don’t worry — nobody has ever died because of it.

如果你是这种情况，这么当你与他人互动时是开始多冒险的绝佳时机。说出你的心里话，放开自己并尽可能是发自本能的。如果别人喜欢你，很好。如果不，别担心——没有人会因此而活不下去。

5. Seek the Friendly Persons

5.寻找友好之人

If you have a hard time starting conversations with people at parties or other social events, the best advice I can offer you is to look for the people who seem the friendliest in the room and start by talking with them.

假使你在派对或者社交活动中很难与人开口谈话，我最好的建议是找到屋子里看起来最友好的人并开始与其交谈。

The fact they are gregarious and positive heartens you to be the same. It boosts your self-assurance and, eventually, you will also feel confident enough to talk with other persons as well.

事实上他们是爱交际的人并且会积极鼓励你变成和他们一样。这提高了你的自信，且最终你也感到有足够的信心和其他人一样交谈。

6. Use the Holidays to Come Up with Conversation Topics

6.利用假期本身提出谈话的主题

During the holidays, one of the best topics to talk about is the holidays. People are generally in the moment, enjoying the festivities, and they like to share them with others.

假期期间，最好的谈话主题之一就是假期本身。在这个时刻，人们一般都在享受节日带来的快乐，因此他们乐于与他人分享这个话题。

During conversation, ask people how they’ve spent the holidays so far, what their plans for the next few days are, what they’re doing for New Year’s Eve, what presents they got for Christmas and so on. There is an abundance of things to talk about regarding the holidays — so go for it.

交谈的时候，询问人们到目前为止他们怎么度假，如未来几天有什么计划，为庆祝新年前夕正在准备什么，圣诞日收到什么礼物等等。关于假期有非常丰富的事情可以讲，所以要把它提出来大家一起讨论。

7. Listen, but Also Talk

7.聆听，但也要说话

A good conversation is a two-way street. It’s important to be a good listener and encourage the other person to talk and open up, but you also want to talk and open up yourself.

一次愉快的谈话是双向的。做一个优秀的聆听者并鼓励其他人畅所欲言是非常重要的，但你自己也必需要畅谈起来。

For many people, this can be an issue. They tend to feel uncomfortable with disclosing themselves. There is only one method to overcome this, and that is to deliberately disclose yourself more, despite the aversion you have. As you get used to it, it gets a lot easier.

对于许多人来讲，这是可能是问题。他们对开放自己将会感到很不舒服。但只有一个方法能够克服这个问题，那就是不管自己的看法，更多有意地开放自己。当你习惯了它，那么它会变得非常容易。

In Closing

结尾

As you open up and become more social, and start letting go of the need to have the approval of others, you’ll find yourself having a lot of fun during social interactions and fully enjoying the holidays.

当你开放自己变得更加喜好交际，并且开始对需要别人的认可变得释怀时，你将发现自己从社交互动中收获许多乐趣且完完全全地享受假期带来的快乐。

On that note, I wish you the best — and most social — holidays you’ve ever had.

在此，谨祝你度过一个未曾有过的最美妙和最交际化的假期。

Eduard Ezeanu is a social confidence coach. He teaches others how to overcome shyness, as well as how to be more social, and helps them build fulfilling relationships with others. He also writes on his blog, People Skills Decoded.

爱德华*伊兹恩纽是位培养社交自信教练。他教导人们如何克服害羞心理以及如何变得更加交际化，并且帮助他们与其他人建立令人愉快的关系。他的博客上还写有：《人类技能解码》。