白袜女生挠脚心视频:单身父母的约会陷阱

单身父母的约会陷阱

As a single parent, not only is it challenging to find time to date, dating can also be a tightrope of indecision.  Many new questions arise when factoring children into the dating equation, ones you may not have faced when building a relationship in your pre-parenting years.  The timing of major relationship milestones each take on new meaning and emotional significance—both for you and your children.  Knowing when is too soon to take a next step in a new relationship is not always clear.

作为单身父母，难的不仅是腾出时间约会，做出约会的决定也很令人犹豫不决。如果你没有把孩子考虑进你的约会关系中，很多问题就会出现，而这些问题是你做父母这几年没有遇见过的。在一段关系中，每一个关键时机都对你和孩子产生新的情感意义。然而，我们并非总是清楚知道这段关系是否发展得太快。

But don’t let navigating these new considerations trap your dating life at a standstill.  Assessing your and your children’s needs, and having some thoughtful conversations with your partner, will help move your dating timeline in a forward direction.

但是，不要被这些顾虑所操纵，而使你的约会停滞不前。评估你和孩子的需要，跟你的对象深刻交流，这样有助于你的约会向前发展。

Jumping Back In: When is too soon to start dating again?

回过头来：何时重新约会显得过早？

Following a separation or divorce, it may be difficult to decide when is too soon to take that initial leap back into the world of meeting new people, exchanging numbers, and going on first dates. Many circumstances and outside opinions may be weighing in, and weighing on you.  Societal “norms,” pressure from family and friends, and whether your kids are prepared will all inevitably impact the decision to take this step.  Although you may be ready to move on, your kids may still be reeling from the idea of their parents no longer being together.  Discussing with them early on—perhaps even before a first date occurs—what dating means for your life and theirs will ease the transition from a divorce to single life to re-entering a relationship.

如果刚分居或者离婚，有可能难以判断何时重新踏出第一步，再次回到以前跟陌生人见面、交换电话号码、第一次约会的日子会显得过早。外界的环境和意见可能沉重地压在你身上，社会规范、亲友压力、你的孩子是否做好准备，这些都不可免避地影响你下一步的决定。尽管你准备好忘记过去、继续前行，但你的孩子可能还承受着爸爸妈妈以后不在一起的不良影响。所以应该在一开始——甚至第一次约会前——就跟你的孩子说，约会对你们生活的影响，这可以使离婚到单身生活再到重新进入一段关系的过渡变得容易。

Going to the Next Level: When is too soon to have sex with a new partner?

进入下一阶段：何时跟新对象进行性生活会显得过早？

Moving from casual dating to a physical relationship with a new partner may require a departure from what your hormones are dictating when children are part of the picture. Entering into a sexual relationship too soon raises the emotional stakes for you and your partner, and indirectly, your children.  Deciding the right time to have sex with someone you are dating can indicate that a relationship is moving into more serious territory.  If this is the direction you both are heading, it presents an opportunity to have a broader conversation about your future together and with your children. It is important that your partner understand the implications a more intense relationship will mean for your children, namely that meeting and forming a bond with them may be on the horizon.

如果在约会时，孩子出现在你的脑海里，那么跟新伴侣从约会关系进入性关系就需要违抗性激素的命令了。过早进入性关系会给你和你的对象带来情感上的风险，并间接影响孩子。在正确的时间决定跟你的约会对象发生性关系，表明这段关系进入认真考虑的范围。如果这是你们向往的方向，就说明是时候深入谈谈你们和孩子的未来了。你的对象要明白：一段更加亲密的关系对孩子深重的意义，这是很重要的。这意味着，和孩子形成关系、团结一起，即将成为现实。

Meet the Children: When is too soon to introduce your significant other to your children?

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跟孩子见面：何时把你的对象介绍给孩子会显得过早？undefined

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As all parents are often painfully aware, kids say the darnest things, particularly to mom or dad’s new mate.  An awkward or troubling interaction may occur when an introduction is made too soon in a relationship or if it comes as a surprise to your children that you’ve been dating someone new.  It is often best to appropriately prepare children early on that you’re dating, giving them time to adjust to the idea, and by finding comparisons they will understand. Explaining to your kids the importance of adults having a meaningful companionship, just as it is important for them to have friends and playmates, will help them see your new mate as a welcome addition to your life and theirs.  

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单身父母都痛苦地发现，孩子会把父母的新对象看成最黑暗的事物。当你过早把约会对象介绍给孩子，或者被孩子意外地发现你正和新对象约会时，尴尬的、麻烦的情境将会出现。因此，最好及早让孩子对你正在约会的现实有适当的心理准备，给他时间适应和调整，并通过比喻获取他的理解。例如，跟孩子解释，对于成年人来说，一个隽永的伴侣的重要性如同他们的小朋友和小玩伴。这样有助于他们接纳你的新伴侣，并欢迎他（她）成为你们生活的新成员。undefined

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Balancing children and a significant other may require some uncomfortable and well-timed conversations.  But by determining a pace that works for you and your children, you can make sure that the fun and exciting aspects of a new relationship are what lie ahead.

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在孩子和对象中取得平衡有时需要难为情的、及时的谈话。但为了你和孩子，通过了这决定性的一步，你会发现新关系所带来的乐趣和兴奋即将来临。