戴尔笔记本怎么关fn:培养有意义的人脉

随着社交媒介的世界扩张，每天人们都在建立着许多新人脉关系。尽管走出去会见朋友的需求和渴望正在减少，我还是要说：没有任何一种方式可以与这种面对面的会见相比。这是一种私人互动，能够培养和固化一个真实的，深厚的并且有意的关系，但是这种类型的人脉很难找到。

There are many types of relationships. There are intimate relationships you have with loved ones, family and very close friends, these types of relationships are generally few and far between. Acquaintances are a little easier to come by. You may touch base with these people from time to time but don’t really know them all that well and in general they fade fast. Building, nurturing and maintaining meaningful relationships is one of the best things we can do.

人脉有许多类型。与爱人，亲人和密友的关系通常来说非常稀少。熟人之间的关系比较容易建立起来。随时间推移，你可能只接触这些人的基础部分，但并不完全很好地了解他们，通常这种关系也会很快褪色。建立，维系并保护有意义的人脉是我们能做的最好的一件事。

Types of relationships

人脉的类型

The whirlwinds. These are people you meet once, have a great time with or are awe-struck by, and then never see again. It could be a brush with a celebrity or someone you really respect and look up to. It could also simply be a great person you happened to cross paths with. A lot of my whirlwind relationships have been formed on tours while on holiday. If you’ve ever travelled and taken a local tour then you know what I’m talking about. You spend either the afternoon, a day, two days or more with a dozen or so people. Without fail you end up chit chatting with a few of them sharing stories and experiences and at the end of the tour you all go your separate ways and that’s it. I’ve met some really wonderful people this way none of whom I’ve kept in contact. These relationships were fleeting there was no real substance but they were great people and I’m happy I got to spend a bit of time with each of them.

旋风型。这些人你见过一次，拥有美妙的时光或是他们让你肃然起敬，之后便再没有机会遇见。这可以是与名人或你仰慕尊敬之人的偶然相会，也可以是简简单单碰巧在路上与一位伟人擦肩而过。大批这种旋风型人脉都是在我度假期间的旅途中建立的。如果你也曾外出旅行并在当地观光，你一定明白我的意思。你会花或许一下午，一天，两天或是十几天时间与一些人在一起。你一定也会与其中一些人谈天说地，分享各自的故事和经历。行程结束后，你们分道扬镳，各行其道，就是这样。以这种方式，我结识了很多有意思的人们，但都未保持联系。这些关系因为没有真正的实体而变得如此短暂。但是他们却都是不错的人哦，而且我也很高兴与他们度过一段很棒的时光。

The acquaintances. These are people you know, touch base with occasionally but don’t spend a lot of time with. There are a few levels on the acquaintance scale; from people you say hello to as you walk past them in the hallway at work to those you eat lunch with every day but the relationship rarely goes beyond that. Typically you call these people infrequently and don’t spend a whole lot of time with. These relationships tend to be rather superficial and rarely go beyond simple pleasantries. 

熟悉型。这些人你了解并且偶尔在基础层面打交道，但并不会与他们度过很长时间。熟人范围内有一些不同程度的等级划分：从那些你工作时经过走廊点头打招呼的人到那些每天与你一同吃午饭的人，但是你们的关系也只是如此，并不不会有所突破。通常情况下，你也不经常和他们通电话，也不会花很大一块儿时间和他们在一起。这种人脉关系非常肤浅，除了简答地开个玩笑之外，很少有超越。

The rocks. These are the people who will be there for you no matter what, they are your rocks, your pillars. Take care of these relationships as it’s rare to have more than a few of these kinds of people in your life. The rocks are the people you go to because you enjoy their company, you don’t expect anything from them apart from some good conversation and that is reciprocated. You genuinely look forward to their company and at the end of your time together you feel relaxed, calm and good. These relationships don’t feel like hard work to maintain, when you find someone with whom everything just clicks, it’s easy.

磐石型。这些人什么时候都会在那儿，他们是你的磐石和支柱。悉心照料这种关系，因为在你的人生中，拥有这样的几个人真的非常难能可贵。磐石型的人们是因为你喜欢他们陪伴而奔向的一群。除了一些彼此美好的互换谈心外，你别无他求。你真诚地期待他们的陪伴，在你们共度的时光结束时，你能感觉到放松，冷静和舒适。这类关系不像艰辛的工作需要维护，当你有这样一个人与你相当默契时，一切就很容易。

Finding and establishing meaningful relationships

寻找并建立有意义的人脉

First, establish what a meaningful relationship isn’t. Take stock of all the relationships you currently have. For each one ask yourself: 

第一，确定有意义的人脉不包括哪些。对于你现有的人脉资源进行评估，对每一个进行如下发问：

Does this relationship exist purely out of convenience? 

该人脉单纯存在而不包含任何获益因素吗？

Are you filling a void for the other person? 

你是在填补其他人的空间吗？

Is that other person filling a void for you? 

那其他人也是为填补你的空间而存在的吗？

Is it a take, take and take some more relationship either on your part or theirs? 

是不是从你或者他们的那一方可以开来更多的人脉？

Do you start to feel down about yourself when you are around them?

当你在他们周围时，是不是你开始觉得很沮丧？

If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions then I’d wager a guess that the relationship you are examining isn’t that meaningful as it stands right now, there are too many conditions. But it can be saved, if indeed you want it to be. Do you care for the person enough to want to change it and have them around in a more positive way?

如果上述问题的答案每一项都是肯定的，我敢打赌，你坐评估的现有人脉并非那么有意义，因为他们的存在需要太多的条件。但是，如果你确实需要的话，也是可以保存这样的人脉关系。你足够在乎这个人，想要改变他以一种更加积极的方式在他们周围吗？

Second, define what a meaningful relationship is to YOU. To find the rocks, those pillar people that you can form long lasting and meaningful relationships with you need to understand what that means to you. There are a few qualities that are characteristic of a meaningful relationship:

第二，定义什么样的人脉对你才有意义。寻找这些磐石类型的人，你需要并理解他们对你意味着什么，你才能培养持久而有意义的关系。有意义的人脉关系有如下一些特征和品质：

mutual respect

相互尊重

mutual trust

相互信任

honesty

诚实

good conversation (i.e. communication)

良好沟通（沟通）

patience

耐心

thoughtfulness

体贴

make you feel good, positive and uplifted

让你感觉舒适，积极和振奋

The relationships I have and that I consider to be meaningful have all of the qualities listed above. I also dislike complexity so by maintaining all of these qualities my relationships work really well. Apart from my immediate family there are only a few people (less than 5) that I would consider to be very close friends, my pillars. I admit that I’m not as good as I could be, or indeed should be, at building and strengthening those relationships but no body’s perfect…not even me!  and it gives me something to work on and improve. 

我拥有的人脉，其中我认为有意义的关系包含上述列出的所有品质。我也不喜欢把所有这些让人脉良好运作的品质复杂化。除了我的直系亲属，只有几个人（不到5人）我觉得是密友，他们是我的支柱。我承认在建立和加强这些关系上我做的也没有那么好，或许确实没有达到。但是没人是完美的，对吧？所以更何况是我呢。而且这样也让我能在做些什么来得以完善。

Look for someone you can befriend without expectations, where there are no strings attached – you enjoy each others company and that is enough. To form a meaningful relationship you need to be willing to open yourself up and let someone into your life. If you have someone you share a meaningful relationship with be sure to spend time with them everyday or every week working on it, communicate and deepen that bond you share.

寻找一个你可以在无期待状况下做朋友的人，也毫无任何条件。你们喜欢彼此的陪伴，这样就足够了。培养有意义的人脉关系，你也必须敞开心扉，让对方踏入你的生活。如果你刚好有这样一个有意义人脉的好伙伴，请每天或每周花些时间和他们在一起，沟通交流，共享并加深这样的关系。

Every person we meet is another living breathing human being and we’re all in search of the same thing…happiness, the feeling of belonging and acceptance. Reach out, find a commonality, be open, genuine and accepting. Get to really know someone, find common interests and get lost in a great conversation. Show love, give love and accept love is one of the best things you can do to form a relationship of deeper meaning that will last a long, long time.

我们遇到的每个人都是另一个活生生的人物，而且我们所有人都在寻找相同的东西：快乐，归属感和接纳度。伸出手，找到一些共同点，敞开心扉，付出爱并接受爱，这样便是培养有意义且持久人脉关系的好方法。