How to Make People Like You

怎样使人们喜欢你

Posted in Balanced Lifestyle, Balanced Mind and Soul | June 18, 2009 | 1 Comment

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    发表在平衡生活方式,平衡心灵和精神上,2009年6月18日

When I was a teenager I think I could have given a million dollars (if I had it  ) to somebody who could have told me how to make people like me. Unfortunately, as I grew up I didn’t get a million dollars but I did find out how to make people like me. If you are looking for advice in this area then you can get it absolutely free if you just keep on reading.

    当我还是一个青少年的时候,我想如果有人能够告诉我怎样使人们喜欢我,我可以给他一百万元(如果我有的话).不幸的是,当我长大后,我没有赚到一百万元,但是我发现怎样使人们喜欢我.如果你正寻找在这个领域的建议,只要你一直读下去,那么你就能完全免费地获得它.

Over the years I have learned one golden rule that has made my life so much easier than the lives of other people around me. This rule has helped me to have excellent professional relationships in the work place and with all senior management. It has helped me get timely pay raises and appreciation and help from my colleagues. It has helped me to have friends who will never turn their backs on me and who can help me in any situation. On top of all that I think that this rule is also one of the main rules of all successful people. But enough talking, let’s get down to business now.

    经过这么多年,我已经学会了一个黄金法则,它使我的生活比我周围的其他人生活得更舒适.这一法则已经帮助我在工作场所拥有了杰出的职业关系和所有的高级管理技巧.它已经帮助我适时地获得工资增长,赏识和从同事那里获得的帮助.它帮助我拥有那些从来没有人会转身面对我和在任何情况下都会帮助我的朋友.在所有以上所列的基础上,我想这个习惯也是主要的成功法则中的一项.不过说了太多费话了,让我们现在步入正题吧.

A relationship between two people starts with the first impression. A first impression is like the first brick that you put into the building of a relationship between two people. It can be sturdy and fundamental or it can be flimsy and unstable. However it’s not the complete house but just the beginning. Creating a good first impression can give you a head start but it won’t be enough to make people like you. One of the latest and most interesting books on this subject is How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman. You can see what the book is all about by watching the video at the end of the post – click here.

     两个人之间的关系开始于第一印象.第一印象就像你放进两个人关系大厦的第一块砖.这一印象可能是结实的根本的,也可能是软弱的不稳固的.但它不是完全的建筑物,而只是一个开始.创造一个良好的第一印象可以给一个开头,并是使人们喜欢你还不够.一本最近的,最有趣的关于此课题的书是怎样使人们在90秒或者更短的时间内喜欢你,作者是尼古拉斯.布思曼.你可以看一看这本书上是怎么描述这些的,在这一段的末端看视频即可--点击此处.

After we are done with the first impression let’s move on to the serious stuff. I would like to ask you “What is it that you like about people around you?” “What makes you decide if a person is a good friend of yours or not, if you want to help that person or not or if you want to do business with that person or not?” Probably your answer to this question will be the answer to the question “How to make people like you?” A while ago I read an interesting quotation say ing something like “We like only those people who reflect our virtues.” So if you want people to like you then you must be some sort of a mirror for them showing how great they are. I gue必ss the next question is how to do this.

    在我们处置好第一印象后,让我们转移到严肃的事情上来.我想问你"对于你周围的人来说,什么是你所喜欢的?""什么使你决定一个人是你的好朋友还是不是?什么使你决定你想帮助那个人还是不帮助?什么使你想与那个人共事还是不想?"不久之前我读到一段有趣的话,上面说了类似于"我们只喜欢那些能够反射我们优点的人"的话.所以,如果你想人们喜欢你,你就必须成为某种对他们来说能够显示他们是多么伟大的镜子.我想下一个问题是怎样去做这些.

From my own experience I can say that there is one trait of character that makes a huge difference in the attitude of other people towards you and this trait is responsibility. My husband’s and my own examples can be good proof of this statement. Both my husband and I started working pretty early in life and we have had a few jobs since then. My husband has had 4 jobs and he left each of those jobs with a great professional relationship with his employers and with a promise that if he ever needs a job then they will gladly take him back. I can say the same thing about myself – my employers always loved me and I had really good professional relationships with my colleagues.

    从我自己的经历来看,我可以说有一种品质会使别人对待你的态度有巨大的不同,这种品质就是责任.我丈夫和我自己的例子可能是这一说法的最好的证明.我和我的丈夫一生中开始工作都非常出色,我们工作以来很少换工作.我丈夫只有过四份工作,而且干的每一份工作都同他的雇主建立了良好的职业关系,当他离开时,都会说如果他一旦需要一份工作他们将欢迎他回来.我可以说,同样的事情也发生的我的身上--我的雇主一直喜欢我,而且我和我的同事保持着真正良好的职业关系.

So how does being responsible make people like you? Well, here are a few reasons to consider:

People like to be important. When you are responsible you make people feel important by showing that you care about their plans, about their needs and their time. If you are not responsible then people feel that they are just an empty spot in life and nobody wants to be an empty spot.People think that their time and their interests are superior to the time and interests of others. When you are responsible you make people see that you value their time and interests.People like to keep everything under control (it is especially true if you want your boss and your colleagues to like you). By being responsible you help them keep their plans under control.People like to be appreciated. When you are irresponsible you make them feel like you don’t care and as a result they do not care about you either.Most people think that the whole world is turning around them. Well, don’t disappoint them, be responsible and let them think that they are the center of the universe.Most people enjoy having their ego fluffed. Don’t you? Be responsible and again show people around you that their “I” is so much more important than yours.

I must confess that the idea of this post came to me last week when I had a series of unfortunate encounters with irresponsible people. I was getting my scuba diving certification (I am done with it now, Hooray!) and my husband and I needed somebody to babysit for us. Well, our baby sitter bailed out on us twice during the week and both times she did it at the last moment (needless to say we were not very happy). We are thinking about finding a new babysitter now. The third time this happened we had to take our 15 months old babies to the class with us (I just had to pass a written test, so it was not a big deal), but when we got there it turned out that my instructor was running 30-40 minutes late and he did not even bother to warn us about it. We had to go back home because we could not wait that long with the babies and therefore had to reschedule my test. It might not sound like a big deal to some people but for my husband and me, people who value time a lot, these situations are aggravating.

      那么怎样变得有责任感并且使人们喜欢你呢?好的,这儿有几个原因可以考虑.

     人们喜欢显得自己重要.当你是负责任的,你可以通过显示你关心他们的计划,他们的需要和他们的时间,使们们感到自己重要.如果你是不负责任的,那么他们就是感到你仅仅是他们一生中的一个空点,但是没有人想成为一个空点.人们喜欢认为他们的时间和他们的兴趣是优越于他人的时间和兴趣的.当你是负责的,你可以使人们看到你珍视他们的时间和兴趣.人们喜欢保持一种任何事情都处于控制之下的感觉.(如果你想让你的老板和你的同事喜欢你这是特别实际的).通过表现得有责任感,你帮助他们保持他们的计划处于控制之内.人们喜欢被欣赏.当你不负责任的时候,你将使他们感到你不关心他们,同时因此他们也不会关心你.大多数人们认为整个世界都在围绕着他们转.好的,别让他们失望,拿出点责任感并让他们感到他们就是世界的中心.大多数人们喜欢粉饰自己.难道你不是吗?拿出点责任感,再向你周围的人表示他们的自我是那么地比你的自我重要.

      我必须承认这一文章的想法出身上周,当时我在同不负责任的人相处过程中有了一系列不幸的遭遇.我正在争取获得我的戴水肺潜水证书(我现在已经获得了,嗨!),我丈夫和我需要某个人临时照料一下孩子.好的,我们的所雇的人在这周之内请假两次,而且每次她都是最后的时刻告诉我们(不用说我们不高兴).我们现在正在考虑找一个新人.这是第三次发生这样的事,我们必须把我们15个月大的孩子带到课堂上(我正好不得不通过一个笔头测试,所以那不是一个大问题),但是当我们到那里时,我们发现我的指导老师迟到了30至40分钟,而且他甚至没有告诉我们一声.我们必须赶回家,因为我们不能带着孩子等那么长的时间,而因此我必须重新安排我的考试.这听起来对某些人来说不像一个大事,但是对我丈夫和我来说,这些人太珍视自己的时间了,那些情况非常恼人.

Sometimes being responsible might be difficult, especially when you have to give up your own plans or pleasures in order to be somewhere in time or do something properly. This is your own choice after all but if you want to make people like you then you must be ready to sacrifice something. I would like to repeat again this one important statement; most people do not like you because you are so awesome and great but because you make them feel awesome and great.

Keep it balanced!

    有时保持有责任感可能比较难,特别是当你为了按时到达某地或者正确的做某事,而必须放弃你自己的计划和消遣的时候.毕竟这是你自己的选择,但是如果你想使人们喜欢你,那么你必须准备去牺牲一些事情.我想再重申一下这一重要的陈述;大多数人不喜欢你是因为你是那么令人畏惧和杰出,而不是因为你使他们感到令人畏惧和杰出.

    保持平衡!