和叶美玲无码作品在线:Communication Principles

Communication Principles
How you see yourself can make a great difference in how you communicate．“Every individual exists in a continually changing world of experience of which he(or she)is the center”．Many communication scholars and social scientists believe that people are products of how others treat them and of the messages others send them．But every day we experience the centrality of our selves in communication．A student．for instance，may describe a conflict with a teacher as unfair treatment：“I know my teacher doesn’t like the fact that I don’t agree with his opinions．and that’s why he gave me such a poor grade in that class．”The teacher might say the opposite．Each person may believe that he is correct and that the other person’s view is wrong．
The concept of self originates in communication．Through verbal and nonverbal symbols, a child learns to accept roles in response to the expectations of others．You establish self-image, the sort of person you believe you are，by how others think of you．Positive，negative，and neutral messages that you receive from others all play a role in determining who you are．Communication itself is probably best understood as a dialogue process．Our understanding of communication comes from our interactions with other people．In a more obvious way．communication involves others in the sense that a competent communicator considers what the other person needs and expects when selecting messages to share．So，the communication begins with the self，as defined largely by others，and involves others，as defined largely by the self．
Communication occurs almost every minute of your life．If you are not communicating with yourself(thinking，planning，reacting to the world around you)，you are observing others and drawing inferences from their behavior．Even if the other person did not intend a message for you, you gather observations and draw specific conclusions．A person yawns and you believe that person is bored with your message．A second person looks away from you and you conclude that person is not listening to you．A third person smiles(perhaps because of a memory of a joke he heard recently) and you believe that he is attracted to you．We are continually picking up meanings from others’ behaviors and we are constantly providing behaviors that have communicative value for them．
More often than not，you may have hurt someone accidentally and you may have tried to explain that you did not mean that. You may have told the other person that you were sorry for your statement．You may have made a joke out of your rude statement．Nonetheless，your comment remains both in the mind of the other person and in your own mind．You cannot go back in time and erase your messages to others．Communication cannot be reversed(倒退)，nor can it be repeated．When you tried to re-create the atmosphere，the conversation，and the setting，nothing seemed right．Your second experience with a similar setting and person made far different results

沟通的原则

你怎么看你自己对于你如何与人沟通影响很大。“每个人都存在于一个一直在以他自己为中心的改变着的世界中。”许多沟通方面的学者及社会科学家认为一个人是怎么样的是由别人怎样对待他以及他得到什么样的信息来决定的。但是每天我们在沟通中都要面对我们自己为中心的情况。例如，学生，可能会认为老师处理冲突时不公正：“我知道老师不喜欢我，因为我不同意他的观点。因此他给我较低的分数。”而老师说的正好相反。每个人都会觉得他是对的，而别人的观点是错的。

自我的概念源自沟通。通过语言的及非语言的符号，孩子学会了扮演各种角色以回应别人对于他的期望。你按照别人的想法开始形成自我意识，并逐渐成为你想要成为的那种人。你从别人那里得到的各种信息，包括积极的，消极的和中性的，都决定着你要成为什么样的人。对话是最好理解的一种沟通方式。我们对于沟通的理解源于我们与其他人的互动。沟通以一种更加明显的方式将其他人考虑进去，有能力的沟通者在选择需要共享的信息时会考虑其他人需要什么。因此，沟通从自我开始，大部分由他们决定，同时也由自己决定来考虑他人的因素。

你几乎一分钟也离不开沟通。如果你没有跟你自己沟通（想，计划，对周围的事物进行反应），那么你也会在观察他人，并从他们的行为中推断一些事情。即使那个人不是想给你传达什么信息，你仍然会收集你观察到的信息并得出你自己的结论。有人打哈欠意味着他厌倦了你给他的信息。有人把脸转过去意味着他没有听你讲话。还有人微笑（或许是他想起了最近听过的一个笑话）那么你可以相信他被你说的话吸引了。我们不断地从别人的行为中获得信息，同时我们的行为也一直向别人提供有沟通价值的信息。

通常，你可能偶尔伤害了某人的感情然后你可能努力解释你不是故意的。你可能需要跟人说你很遗憾你说了那样的话。你可能用一句玩笑来化解你鲁莽的评论。但是你回不到你说错话或做错事之前并将你传达给他人的信息擦掉了。沟通没有倒退的余地，也不能重复。你努力地重建气氛，会谈及背景，可是什么也回不来了。你会发现重建背景后虽然还是刚才那些人，可是结果却大不一样了。