回到唐朝当混混书评:Surrender to the Fact that Life isn't Fair

Surrender to the Fact that Life isn't Fair

   A friend of mine, in response to a conversation we were having about the injustices1 of life, asked me the question, “Who said life was going to be fair, or that it was even meant to be fair?” Her question was a good one. It reminded2 me of something I was taught as a youngster3: Life isn’t fair. It’s a bummer4, but it’s absolutely true. One of the mistakes many of us make is that we feel sorry for ourselves, or for others, thinking that life should be fair, or that someday it will be. It’s not and it won’t.

   One of the nice things about surrendering to5 the fact that life isn’t fair is that it keeps us from feeling sorry for ourselves by encouraging us to do the very best we can with what we have. We know it’s not “life’s job” to make everything perfect, it’s our own challenge. Surrendering to this fact also keeps us from feeling sorry for others because we are reminded that everyone is dealt a different hand; everyone has unique strengths6 and problems in the process of growing up, facing the reality and making decisions; and everyone has those times that they feel victimized7 or unfairly treated.

    The fact that life isn’t fair doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do everything in our power to improve our own lives or the world as a whole. To the contrary, it suggests that we should. When we don’t recognize or admit that life isn’t fair, we tend to feel pity for others and for ourselves. Pity, of course, is a self-defeating8 emotion that does nothing for anyone, except to make everyone feel worse than they already do. When we do recognize that life isn’t fair, however, we feel compassion9 for others and for ourselves. And compassion is a hearfelt10 emotion that delivers loving-kindness to everyone it touches. The next time you find yourself thinking about the injustices of the world, try reminding yourself of this very basic fact. You may be surprised that it can nudge you out of self-pity and into helpful action.

和一位友人就生活的不公平交谈时，她问我这样一个问题，“谁说生活会是公平的，或生活应该是公平的？”这个问题问得好。它让我想起年轻时记取的一个教训：生活是不公平的。这着实让人不愉快，但确是实情。我们许多人所犯的一个错误便是为自己、或为他人感到遗憾，认为生活应该是公平的，或者终会有一天会是公平的。其实不然，现在不是，将来也不会。

承认生活并不公平这一事实的一个好处便是它激励我们去尽已所能，而不再自我感伤。我们知道让每件事情完美并不是“生活的使命”，而是我们自己对生活的挑战。承认这一事实也会让我们不再为他人遗憾，因为我们领悟到每个人都被分与一副不同的牌；每个人在成长、面对现实、做种种决定的过程中都有各自不同的能力和难题，每个人都有感到成了牺牲品或遭不公正对待的时候。

承认生活并不公平这一事实并不意味我们不必尽已所能去改善生活，去改进整个世界。恰恰相反，它正表明我们应该这样做。当我们没有意识到或不承认生活并不公平时，我们往往怜悯他人也怜悯自己，而怜悯自然是一种于任何人无补的失败主义的情绪，它只能令人感觉比现在更糟。但当我们真正意识到生活并不公平时，我们会对他人也对自己怀有同情，而同情是一种由衷的情感，所到之处都会散发出充满爱意的仁慈。以后等你发现自己在思考世界上的种种不公正时，可要提醒自己这一基本的事实。你或许会惊奇地发现它会将你从自我怜悯中拉出来，采取一些具有积极意义的行动。

1、injustice：n．非正义，不公正，不公平；
2、remind：vt．提醒，使记起，使想起；
3、youngster：n．小伙子，年轻人，儿童；
4、bummer：n．失望，（大）失败，不愉快的事件；
5、surrender：vi屈服于（常与to搭配）；
6、strength：n．力量，实力，强点，长处；
7、victimize：vt．使受害，惩处，使受骗；
8、self-defeating：adj．自我挫败的；
9、compassion：n．同情，怜悯；
10、heartfelt：adj．衷心的，诚挚的。