鹿诗词:人性的弱点：恐惧和疑虑

克服恐惧和疑虑的6个关键

This is a guest post from Dr. Annette Colby.

这是一篇来自Annette Colby博士的客座博文。

翻译：Shayne Yeats

If you are like most people, you have a goal or a dream that is meaningful and that you want to achieve. That goal may be related to personal growth issues such as weight loss, gaining self-esteem, finding inner peace, increasing your energy levels, or overcoming depression.

大部分人活着都有一个目标，或是一个对自己来说很有意义的梦想，而且很想把它们变成现实。那个目标也许与诸如减肥、获得自尊、找回内心平静、提升自己的能量层次或克服压抑的情绪这些个人成长话题有关。

Or, your goal may include going back to school, entering a new career, or bringing your creative talents into a greater public light. Having a goal is the easy part. Attempting to move through your own inner obstacles can literally leave you terrified, completely paralyzed by your own fear.

或者，你的目标可能是重新回到校园去学习，开始新的职业生涯，或是让公众也注意到你的天赋。设定一个目标是一件很简单的事。而要克服内心的障碍却要难得多，因为你很容易就会被内心的恐惧所吓倒。

If you have tried to reach your goal and stopped because you encountered a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, don’t give up. That is the nature of goals. They take you into new territory and bring you face-to-face with your own fears and doubts. The issue is not about how to avoid fear, but how to make positive decisions that boost your confidence while fear is present.

假如你在追寻梦想的路途上遇到了一个貌似不可逾越的障碍而停止了前进的脚步的话，我建议你不要轻言放弃。不经历风雨哪见彩虹呢？目标会把你带到一片新天地，同时你也不得不去直面自己的恐惧和疑虑。问题的关键并不是如何逃避恐惧，而是如何做出积极的决定在你心存犹豫的时候坚定信念。

Every day, many people give up on their dreams due to self-doubt and fear. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Here are six steps to overcoming doubt and fear and bringing your own goals to life.

每天，都有无数的人会因为自我怀疑和恐惧而放弃自己的梦想。但那都是可以避免的！下文就指出了克服恐惧和疑虑，走向梦想的六个步骤。

1. Make a Decision. Once you define your dream or goal, decide that you want to live this kind of happy and satisfied life. This may seem basic but many people never decide and commit fully to their dream. They simply keep “thinking” about it. Or, when the first obstacle appears and they give up. Make a commitment to yourself. Right now is not the time to worry about how to make it happen, or how you are going to move through your challenges. Instead, plant the seed of your dream inside of you and you commit to loving this seed until the day you can harvest the fruits of your efforts.

1.做一个决定。一旦你有了一个梦想或目标，你就要决定开始过一种开心、舒心的生活。这看上去似乎是最基本的，但许多人却从来都没有对自己的梦想做出过这样的承诺。他们只是在简单地“琢磨”它。这样的话，当第一个障碍出现时，他们就会放弃。对自己做一个承诺。现在你担心的不是如何实现梦想，也不是如何克服一个个挑战，而是在自己内心种下这个梦想，并承诺你将坚持不懈地为此付出努力直到收获的那天到来。

Honor your commitment to self. No one can let you down more than you can. Make a commitment about what you want and stand strong in your commitment. No matter how challenging, how fearful, or overwhelming it may seem, decide you are going for it! Why? For no other reason than because you want it. There are no should’s, have to’s, or weak choices. This is something you want for yourself and a choice you have made.

尊重你给自己所做出的承诺。除了你自己外没有人有能力让你停止前进的脚步。对你想要得到的事做一个承诺，并且坚定不移地信守这个承诺。不论有多大的挑战，不论有多大的恐惧，不论希望有多渺茫，你都要知难而上。这意味着，没有“应该”、“必须”或“弱项”这些字眼。一切都关乎于你自己，这是你自己所做的决定。

2. You Are Not Your Fear. As you move forward on your dream, doubt and fear are going to show up sooner than you might have expected. To move beyond fear, it is helpful to learn to separate yourself from your fear. For example, instead of thinking an all encompassing statement such as, “I am fearful,” learn instead to say, “There is a part of me that is fearful and doesn’t want to move forward. But somewhere inside of me there is also a desire to continue moving forward.”

2.你是你，而不是你的恐惧。在你追求梦想的过程中，疑虑和恐惧会出乎意料地出现在你眼前。要克服恐惧，你要学会将你和你的恐惧分离开来。比如，你不该有“我很害怕”这种思想，你应该这样考虑“我身体的一部分感到恐惧，而且不想前进。但是我身体中的另一个部分却渴望着想要继续前进。”

Fear is not all of who you are, rather it is an emotion that you are experiencing. The key is to recognize your fear, avoid becoming identified with your fear, and keep breathing. Breathing keeps energy moving and prevents you from being consumed in fear’s heavy embrace.

恐惧不是你的全部，它只不是你所经历的一种情绪而已。关键就是要承认自己的恐惧，并且避免自己认可这种恐惧，同时保持呼吸。呼吸有助于能量的移动而且把你从恐惧的梦魇中解救出来。

No matter how scary it seems, decide to sit with your emotion of fear for the purpose of accepting its presence, but not necessarily agreeing with it’s point of view. Acceptance helps because avoiding it doesn’t make it go away, looking the other way doesn’t make it disappear, and ignoring it does not make it any less painful. So, breathe. Then tell yourself that even though you are feeling intense fear, you can still take action. Look fear in the eye and let it know, “You are not the boss of me!” Then take the necessary steps to gain new tools and strategies to move forward on your dream once again.

不论现实情况看上去有多恐怖，你都要学会接纳恐惧，但不能够认可这种情绪。接纳它会管用，因为逃避它并不能让它离开，寻找其它的方法也不会让它消失，忽视它也不会减少你的痛苦。所以，呼吸。然后告诉你自己，虽然你感到恐惧，但你还可以正常地做事。坦然面对恐惧然后对它说“你才不是我的老板！”接下去，你就该采取新的方法和策略继续追寻你的梦想。

3. Change your attitude about failure. Long ago, a quote arrived in my email that read, “You try things, some work, some don’t, and you do more of what works.” These simple words suggest that the formula for success is that if you want to grow and succeed, you also have to be willing to fail. Certainly, no one actually wants to experience failure.

3.改变对失败的看法。很久以前，我在电子邮件中读到一句名言“你所做的事，一些会给你带来价值，另一些则不会，那么你就该多做那些有价值的事。”这句简单的话暗示了成功的公式就是敢于面对失败，你就会成功。我很确信，没有人会真的想去体验失败。

However, if you want to succeed at something new, you will most likely experience setbacks, obstacles, and failures along the way. To be successful, redefine failure in a manner allowing yourself to see failure as “information.”Failure is really just feedback telling you to evaluate your experience, utilize the information gained to adjust your plan, and then try a new approach. When you experience a failure – get up, dust yourself off, access the information gained, revise your course, and begin again.

但是，如果你想要在某个新领域内成功的话，你都要在途中面对许多挫败、障碍和失败。想要成功，你就该把失败看成是某种“信息”。失败其实是在告诉你，你该反思一下你的所作所为，吸取经验教训，然后尝试新的方法。当你失败了的时候------站起来，重振旗鼓，吸取经验教训，调整一下计划，然后再去尝试。

4. Build Your Confidence Muscle. Although achieving your dream will bring up stress, fear, doubt, this experience is precisely what is necessary for a confidence breakthrough to occur. It is not enough to make self-supporting choices when your journey is easy, you have to do it when it’s hardest to do so. That’s because to break through what is holding you back, you have to go through the doubt. You can’t dance around it, wish it away, or analyze how to avoid the experience. Making self-empowering decisions under stress is what leads you authentic personal growth and solidifies inner change.

4.增强自信心。在你追求自己的梦想的过程中你会体验到压力、恐惧和疑虑，这些经验对你的自信心的形成来说是不可缺少的。当你一路顺风的时候，你总是信心满满，但更为重要的是，当你遭遇艰难的困境时你也该保持自信心。那是因为如果你想要摆脱拖你后腿的事情的话，你就必须要去克服疑虑。如果你只是去分析如何避免这种情况的发生而什么事也不做的话，疑虑是不会自动消失的。在重重压力下鼓励自己会让你走向真正的个人成长，而且会让你的内心变得更坚强。

It’s the challenges of your journey that offer hundreds of opportunities to develop your confidence muscle and gain mastery over your experiences. Every obstacle, setback, or failure offers you a new chance to believe in yourself instead of falling into doubt and fear.

正是你一路上所面对的一个个挑战让你有无数次的机会去增强自己的自信心，并主宰自己的人生。每一个障碍、挫败或失败都提供给你一个新的机会，它让你去相信自己而不是陷入疑虑和恐惧的境地。

5. Decide You Don’t Have To Do Anything. Here is an experiment. For the next 48 hours, eliminate the words “I have to” from your vocabulary and substitute the words “I choose to.” Instead of saying, “I have to move forward on my goal” say, “I choose to take this specific action step today.” Or, you could just as effectively say, “I choose not to take any action step today.” Either choice allows you to understand that you are the person in control of your choices. You set the priorities. You are responsible. You have control. Feel how empowering this simple change of words can be.

5.你没必要什么事都要去做一下。这里有一个例子。在未来的48个小时里，把“我必须去”这个字眼从你的字典里去除，取而代之的应该是“我选择去”。不要说“我必须要向我的目标再前进一步”，你应该说，“我今天就选择去采取这个特别的行动。”或者，你也可以说，“今天，我选择什么事也不做。”这两个选择都告诉你，只有你才是你人生的真正主人。你设定了事情的优先次序。你有责任心。你有控制力。想想看，就几个字词的改变就可以带来如此巨大的改变。

6. Ask Yourself Empowering Questions. Certain types of questions can lead you to gain new insights and new motivation. Ask yourself the following questions, allow yourself to answer them from your heart, and see where your truths take you: Are your dreams important enough to change your daily lifestyle?

6.给自己提一些激励性的问题。特定的几个问题会引导你获得新的见解和新的动机。问一下自己以下的几个问题，并允许自己说真心话，然后再看看你的信念将你带到了何方：你的梦想是否足够的重要？以至于它可以改变你的日常生活方式。

Do you want to be responsible for your own life decisions? 

你是否真的想要为你自己的人生决定负责？

Do you have the courage to go after what you want with tenacity and see it through to the end? 

你是否有勇气去追求你的梦想？并且能够坚韧不拔地走到最后。

Can you accept that fear is part of the journey and move forward anyway? 

你是否能接纳人生中的恐惧？并且继续前进。

Can you recognize that fear is only your leader if you allow it to be? 

你是否认为只有在你自己允许的情况下，恐惧才会成为你的主人？

Being able to overcome your doubt and fears so you can bring into reality the life of your dreams is one of the best experiences in the world! Take control of your life by practicing these five simple steps and learn how to tame your fear and create a happier, more successful life.

克服恐惧和疑虑并实现自己的梦想，是人生在世最美妙的经验之一。通过训练文章中所提到的五个步骤就可以掌控你自己的人生，而且你也会学会任何驯服恐惧并创造一个更幸福、更成功的人生。

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