成龙自传写张国荣:一个非常无用的态度

作者：Nicholas  Boothman  

译者：Shayne Yeats

Any two people can have wildly different attitudes toward the same set of experiences. However, when two people react to the same experience with the same attitude, they share a powerful natural bond. Attitudes have the tendency to be infectious, and because they are rooted in emotional interpretation of experiences,they can be distorted and shaped; they can be wound up or wound down.

任何两个拥有相似人生经验的人也会有截然不同的态度。然而，当这两个人持有相同的态度时，就会有一种强有力而又非常自然的纽带将他们联系在一起。态度有一种传染的倾向，因为它们深深地根植于个人情感对经验的反应中，它们可以被扭曲并重塑；也可以被削弱或加强。

What happens when people lose control and become angry? They look belligerent (body language), their voice tone is harsh and they use menacing words. They can be very scary to be around. From the point of view of making people like you, or even getting willing cooperation,we call this a Really Useless Attitude. How often have you seen infuriated parents berating their children for knocking over the bananas at the supermarket? Or bored, uninterested shop assistants? Or cranky, impatient doctors? They are all putting out useless attitudes.

当人们失去控制或生气的时候会发生什么？他们变得好争斗起来（肢体语言），他们的语气变得尖刻并会使用粗暴的字词。他们害怕被人围观。从想让人们喜欢你的观点或得到愉快的合作来看，这真的是一个非常糟糕的态度。你是不是会时常在超市里看见愤怒的家长责备自己的孩子把香蕉给弄翻在地上？或者是无聊、冷淡的店员？又或者是脾气暴躁的医生？他们都在向外界发出无用的态度。

how to make people like you

如何让别人喜欢你

I'm not saying whether this is right or wrong; I'm just pointing out that from a communications standpoint it doesn't deliver the message very well. Assuming they have a message. And that's often the point. Useless attitudes tend to come from people who don't know what they really want from their communication.

我并不是在评判这种态度是对还是错，而是从交流的角度出发指出这不是一个很好的表现。假如他们有什么话要说的话，而这也是非常重要的一点。无用的态度常常来自于那些不知道该从谈话中获取什么信息的人那里。

Remember, the "K" in "KFC" stands for "Know what you want." If you don't know what you want, there's no message to deliver and no basis for connecting with other people.

记住字母"K”在"KFC"中所表达的意思：“知道你所想要的是什么。”假如你不知道你想要的是什么的话，你就不会去向别人传达某种信息，同时也没有和对方建立联系的基础。

Most people think in terms of what they don't want as opposed to what they do want, and their attitudes reflect this. "I don't want my boss yelling at me anymore"comes with a whole different attitude than "1 want my boss's job" or "I want to be promoted." Similarly, "I'm sick of selling neckties all day long" sends a completely different attitude and set of signals to your imagination than does "I want to run a charter fishing boat in Honey Harbor."

大部分人觉得他们所不想要的东西都是与他们想要的东西相矛盾的，他们的态度就可以反映出这点。“我再也无法忍受老板冲我大喊大叫了”变成了全然不同的态度“我想要我老板的饭碗”或“我想要升职”。类似的，“我厌倦了每日推销领带的无聊生活”所传达出来的态度与“我想到蜜蜂湾去租艘渔船享受享受”截然不同。

Your imagination is the strongest force that you possess—stronger than willpower. Think about it. Your imagination projects sensory experiences in your mind through the language of pictures, sounds, feelings,smells and tastes. Your imagination distorts reality. It can work for you or against you. It can make you feelterrific or miserable. So the better the information you can feed into your imagination, the better it can organize your thinking and your attitudes and ultimately your life.

你的想象力是你所拥有的最强有力的一股力量------比意志力还要强。好好想想吧。是你的想象力将诸如图片、声音、感觉、嗅觉和味觉这些感官体验投影到你的头脑中。你的想象力歪曲了现实。它可以为你所用，也可以阻扰你。所以，你植入到自己的想象中的信息越是积极，它就会让你更好的思考，更棒的态度和更美的人生。